Based on your IP address, you are in the US of A.
Depends how DIY you want to be.
If you want to purchase modules off-the-shelf and use them, then I'd recommend that you have a look at the Clipsal CBus system, now available from the Square D stable, link
here. It is modular, has no central controller, uses Cat5 cabling, but does has a proprietary command structure, however you download the protocol data for free.
Theres a UK based community of DIY folk who use this system, see
The Home Automation Die Hards Mailing List, actually a Yahoo group, which has a link to a searchable archive. In fact, this group has much wisdom on the subject, and is probably a much better place to be than here for home lighting systems
If you want to get the soldering iron and PCB etchent out, then I may have a pointer for that too...